A 20 something men’s health magazine writer discovers a beautiful shop door just outside of Chinatown that is sometimes there and sometimes not and shows him something new and completely different every time he opens it but no one else can see it or seems to know anything about it.
I guess I would start with some basic question. Is it integral to the logline that he works for a men’s health magazine? Does it matter that the door is in Chinatown? If not, that frees up some space to add more points of tension that jumpstart the story.
There is a great line in Secret of My Success: “You’re inside the door, kid. What you do on the other side is up to you?” So the question is what does he do on the other side of the door.
The logline implied–“no one else can see it”–that he spends time querying people about the door. However, it would seem the point of the story is what he experience through the door. How that changes him? Story in some general way is about change. If we caught of glimpse of how the door might change him, or effect his life, I think this logline would really sing.
The idea of a door that leads to different places–or a different place every time someone goes through it is intriguing. But I would like a little glimpse as to where the door would go before I bought the ticket.
Just a thought.