A bounty hunter who foresees danger just before it happens holds patrons of a sleazy bar hostage in order to trap a killer with mental superpowers from an alternate reality.
I try to answer these questions in a logline (with little success sometimes).
Who is the protagonist? What do they want? What is stopping them? Why is it stopping them? What can they do?
Bounty Hunter, that gives us protagonist and what he wants, tick.
The rest I am unsure about. What are the mental superpowers? When you say Bounty Hunter you get free information passed on. We know what a Bounty Hunter does. Mental Superpowers could be anything.
What is stopping him and what can he do? Plus is the bar important and why?
I mention a valley in one of my loglines to show there are no resources available like in a city. If the bar isn’t important save the words and use them to add more story.
Okay, this is getting interesting. I like the idea that he has psychic radar that can detect impending jeopardy (but not good fortune?) However, I think “mental superpowers” — that can cover a lot of territory; I suggest it needs to be more specific.
Maybe something that makes their psychic powers complementary and contrasting; that is, whatever the protagonist has, the antagonist doesn’t. And vice versa.
It’s a contained thriller: the sleazy bar is the main location and makes a gritty contrast with the mental superpowers on show.
The bounty hunter has the gift of flash precognition so he gets images of danger seconds or minutes into the future.
“A bounty hunter who foresees danger just before it happens (sees images of imminent danger) holds patrons of a sleazy bar hostage in order to trap a fugitive but hunter becomes hunted when a killer able to manipulate time and warp reality also shows up”.
“When he foresees the imminent attack of a inter-dimensional being, a psychic bounty hunter must…”
Now we’re getting to the question? How does holding people hostage trap a powerful being? Without that knowledge it is hard to finish the logline. What is the connection? Trapping a powerful being and holding patrons hostage.
Is one of the patrons special in some way, or connected to the being?