A charming hired hand falls for the same idealistic young woman as his close friend, an emerging revolutionary after they are driven to the rural south by growing violence and corruption in the city. (Besides log line help, would like to know if you would watch this movie?)

American Love Story

sloanpeterson Samurai Asked on September 15, 2015 in Public.
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8 Review(s)

As FFF said.

The logline seems to be more about the “B” story — the love story — and rather vague on what constitutes the “A” story. A logline should focus on the “A” story. That is, it should 1] identify a main character, 2] describe that character’s specific objective goal, 3] who/what opposes the main character and 4] what’s at stake.

The objective goal should be framed as something the main character is proactively seeking to accomplish. As it is “They are driven…” seems passive and reactive — circumstances are in the drivers seat of the plot rather than the main characters.

dpg Singularity Reviewed on September 15, 2015.
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Hello,
the logline is not clear enough to me to judge the movie.
(I read it 3 times and still I don’t get it).
Who is the main character, what is the inciting event, what is the main character’s goal and who/what is his opponent?

FFF Mentor Reviewed on September 15, 2015.
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Well, since you asked, the story is too general to elicit my interest.  There is no sense of a particular historical period in which the story takes place.  Nothing in particular that makes this story stand out from all the other love stories about one character who is charming and another who is idealistic.

>>>growing violence and corruption in the city.

When?  Where?  That could apply to any number of cities, in the past — and present.

dpg Singularity Reviewed on September 29, 2015.
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Yep, I would tweak it a bit to add conflict irony or conflict.

After her father dies a stuck up type must prove she’s worth the inheritance by working for the help of a rival family, only ly to fall in love with the dashing prince and the dishwasher boy.

The above isn’t perfect, far from it, but point I am making is we get a sense of the act structure, the lead character’s flaw, the conflict that will rise from love vs wealth, is she really in love with the prince or is he just a symbol of the life she thinks she wants.

Knightrider Mentor Reviewed on September 16, 2015.
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Thank you, I am trying to adapt an old narrative poem and update it for modern day and it’s proving difficult. The poem features the love story as the A story. I will post a reworked log line soon. Thanks for your input!

sloanpeterson Samurai Reviewed on September 17, 2015.
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