A desperate CEO’s legally ambiguous plans to save his company are undermined when he is blackmailed by a mysterious ex-employee.

steveylang Samurai Asked on September 25, 2015 in Drama.
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6 Review(s)

Overall, it relates the story.  However, and this is just me, I would drop the word “legally.”  To me, this would add a sense that your main character walks a line trying to save the company, which gives support to the blackmail.  The story should bare out the legalities of the plan, and if the blackmailer is just or not.  Just my thoughts Stevey.  From the logline, the story sound tense.

McCreedy Penpusher Reviewed on September 25, 2015.

Thank you! My intent is to have a storyline that is morally ambiguous (sort of a “does means justify the ends” thing), but perhaps it is still better to drop “legally” anyway. “Ambiguous” is probably enough. Thanks!

on September 25, 2015.
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“A desperate CEO struggles to save his company from going under while being blackmailed by a mysterious ex-employee.”

Your theme does not need to appear in ther logline – just the main action plot.

kbfilmworks Samurai Reviewed on September 25, 2015.
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My suggestion:

“When a desperate CEO sets out to save his benevolent company using dubious means, he finds his reason for existence in the blackmailing clutches of  a mysterious woman who says she once worked for him.”

Key Payton Penpusher Reviewed on September 25, 2015.
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I wanted to comment because I really like this logline and the sense of the tension in this movie. I can see the others’ comments are phenomenal. My two cents is that CEOs can range from multi-billion dollar corporations to work-from-home operations. Corporations grow, flounder, fail, hold steady, innovate, or whatever. Usually when we think of CEOs we think of the rich and powerful, but that’s not always the case. I’m not sure I would use “benevolent” to describe the company as much as I would indicate the size or scope of the company: global, Fortune 500, up-n-coming, for example because each category of corporation conjures a different sense of conflict. An old, rich, powerful CEO functions differently than a from-the-ground-up entrepreneurial hot shot. I just craved a little more detail in that sense. I would also consider naming the industry if it has any relation to the story or characters.

Geschwindt Penpusher Reviewed on September 26, 2015.
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Thanks all for the wonderful feedback! I am going to think it over for a couple of days to try to fill out some of these details, and incorporate them in the longline.

steveylang Samurai Reviewed on September 28, 2015.
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