A retired father and his daughter must forgive previous tensions to work together to prevent his other daughters from selling the family business.

The Bar

CraigDGriffiths Mentor Asked on September 13, 2015 in Public.
Add Comment
12 Review(s)

Doh…. Hamlet my favourite and I got it wrong.

CraigDGriffiths Mentor Reviewed on September 16, 2015.
Add Comment

Neat.

dpg Singularity Reviewed on October 2, 2015.
Add Comment

You should put the inciting incident first

“When his eldest daughter puts his beloved family bar on the market, a retired barkeep seeks the help of his estranged youngest daughter to convince her sibling not to sell.”

Richiev Singularity Reviewed on September 14, 2015.
Add Comment

“When his eldest daughter puts his beloved family bar on the market, a retired barkeep reluctantly seeks the help of his estranged youngest daughter, who’s the only lawyer he can afford.”

Richiev Singularity Reviewed on September 14, 2015.
Add Comment

Might need to add a B story here, like some important reason for not selling the bar.

I mean, imagine if they took out the discovery of the treasure map from The Goonies… that’s kind of what you have here at the moment.

Lucius Paisley Logliner Reviewed on September 14, 2015.
Add Comment

Your Review

By posting your review, you agree to the privacy policy and terms of service.