A gifted geneticist perfects the formula for increasing intelligence, but using it on his gorgeous but not so gifted wife he creates a cynical tyrant and his only competition for the Nobel Prize.
I love the concept, the logline and, especially the title (sans question mark). I think it should be “…but BY using it…”. Also, I don’t get the cynical tyrant part, and it doesn’t seem necessary, therefore:
“A gifted geneticist perfects the formula for intelligence, but after testing it on his (dim-witted/dumb but gorgeous) wife, he creates his only competition for The Noble Prize!”
Great job, Paul Clarke!
Could make a great comedy.
I don’t think the II and antagonist are clearly defined more like insinuated:
MC – Gifted geneticist.
II – Him realizing the wife could get the Nobel prize.
AN – Bitchy wife.
Perhaps: “When aiming for the Nobel prize a downtrodden geneticist transforms his dim witted wife into a mad scientist and his only competition.”
tries an intelligence increasing formula on his dimwitted wife who in turn
What’s this “MC” and “II” nonsense? Are we on Twitter? I assume you mean “main character” (protagonist) and “inciting incident”.
I do not believe the “II” is when the “MC” realizes the wife could get the Noble Prize. It’s when he develops and gives her the formula that makes her more intelligent.