A lazy but gifted high-school kid blackmails his adulterous parents and uses the money to start his own business, in an attempt to woo the girl of his dreams.

The Entrepreneur

Paul Clarke Samurai Asked on February 15, 2015 in Public.
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12 Review(s)

I am missing the line of logic. He needs to blackmail his parents to start a business to woo a girl… why doesn’t he just ask her out on a date?

Richiev Singularity Reviewed on February 15, 2015.
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I think I can see where you are headed. Blackmail both parents? So they are both committing adultery and neither know? If that is correct, great, ignore me on that. Lazy but gifted. Is there another way to explain this that will also inform how he may act around the girl or what is he willing to do to win her over?

Highly intelligent and manipulative – A genius sociopath – A charming yet despicable… Something that can be used to build more of his character and let the reader know the sort of things he may do later in the story.

The girl, why would she be impressed by him owning a business. I can see this, like Good Charlotte sing “Girls don’t like boys, girls like cars and money”. But how do you handle it in the story. Knowing a bit about her will let people see how the story may interact. There is a difference between “Spoiled rich girl” and “Poor gold digger” with how they react to money.

Good luck.

CraigDGriffiths Overlord Reviewed on February 15, 2015.
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Hi Richiev, thanks for the comment.

I think the answer is if our characters were capable of doing everything at the beginning of the movie, then we wouldn’t really have a movie. If John McClane could tell his wife how he felt then we wouldn’t have Die Hard.

In this case he does make an attempt, but it’s lame and doesn’t work. He sees her with a rich guy with a nice car and (incorrectly) decides that’s what he needs to do to win her over. Of course later in the movie he also realizes that this is wrong and he should have just talked to her. I’m sure there’s plenty of people out there who will tell you asking a girl out on a date isn’t the easiest thing in the world to do. For some it may be the hardest.

Also he doesn’t need to blackmail his parents, but they tell him to do something with his life and won’t give him the money he needs, then he catches them out and makes the most of the opportunity.

Paul Clarke Samurai Reviewed on February 15, 2015.
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Hi Craig, thanks for the comment.

Yes, both parents without the other one knowing.

I was thinking of changing gifted but lazy – to brainy slacker. But I’m not sure if it’s any better.

And changing girl of his dreams to crush, or sweetheart. I don’t think I’ll give any more details on her as she doesn’t play that much of a role as a character. She’s just the treasure at the end. It’s more about him getting off his ass and doing something that makes him a better person.

And yes, Good Charlotte summed it up well. She goes with the rich guy with the nice car, so he believes that’s what he needs.

Paul Clarke Samurai Reviewed on February 15, 2015.
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Hi Craig, thanks for the comment.

Yes, both parents without the other one knowing.

I was thinking of changing gifted but lazy – to brainy slacker. But I’m not sure if it’s any better.

And changing girl of his dreams to crush, or sweetheart. I don’t think I’ll give any more details on her as she doesn’t play that much of a role as a character. She’s just the treasure at the end. It’s more about him getting off his ass and doing something that makes him a better person.

And yes, Good Charlotte summed it up well. She goes with the rich guy with the nice car, so he believes that’s what he needs.

Paul Clarke Samurai Reviewed on February 15, 2015.
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