A lowly bartender planning her upcoming marriage has her Celebrity Free Pass, the one famous person she can sleep with without any consequences from her partner, walk into her bar, creating a world of problems for herself when she accepts his advances.

    Free Pass

    SDMann Penpusher Asked on August 8, 2013 in Public.
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    7 Review(s)

      Hi,

      I’ve had a bash at condensing the story. I’m sure this isn’t how you want it to read but gives an idea of how it could be shortened. I like the premise but the logline is just a bit long and difficult to read as it currently stands.

      A bartender is given approval to sleep with a Hollywood super star by her fiance only to find her life comes crashing down following the affair.

      Good luck

      wilsondownunder Default Reviewed on August 8, 2013.
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        Hi thanks a lot for the response. Yeah it’s lengthy because I thought I would have to briefly define the Free Pass and also that this was a celebrity already established to be her free pass. Additionally, part of the drama comes her trying to hide it from her fiancee initially, so she wouldn’t immediately be honest about what is going on. Maybe, ‘An engaged bartender meets the man who is her Celebrity Free Pass but her life spirals out of control when she secretly accepts his advances’? Any ideas on this would be much appreciated. Thanks again..

        SDMann Penpusher Reviewed on August 8, 2013.
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          Hi,

          I think just saying Celebrity Free Pass still doesn’t define it, unless the reader already knows what it is it may still not be clear.

          Hmmm, it’s a tricky one.

          When a bartender meets the one celebrity her fiancé has given her permission to sleep with, she secretly accepts his advances, causing her life to spiral out of control.

          wilsondownunder Default Reviewed on August 8, 2013.
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            Why not double the fun, double the possibilities? Have both get involved in Celebrity Free Pass flings. Double the complications ensue.

            dpg Singularity Reviewed on August 9, 2013.
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