A man awaits the arrival of a violent time-travelling version of himself from 10 years in the future. After he is ‘killed’ by a female undercover cop determined to stop him from breaking bar, he is ‘saved’ by a female bounty hunter who hallucinates slices of the future and is determined to collect the bounty on his badass future self.
I love it!
Great high concept. But you’ll need to simplify the logline…
The goal (or 2nd act action) is wrapped in the final part of the logline: “is determined to collect the bounty on his badass future self”.
I would give this more prominence, and make it more active “is determined” feels weak. We usually use “must” in a logline, as it is a lot stronger.
Simplify the setup, and give more prominance to the 2nd act action.
I hope this helps!
Many thanks, Karel. Great comment.
“Awaiting the arrival of his time-travelling future self, an innocent man is ‘killed’ by a female undercover cop and ‘saved’ by a female bounty hunter who hallucinates slices of the future and must collect the bounty on his badass future self”.
In time travel stories it’s not unusual for characters to encounter their future or past selves – in fact it’s a trope. By way of example, consider films such as: 12 Monkeys, Looper, Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure, Men in Black 3, X-men: days of future past & Primer.