A member of a vigilantly cop network must escape custody and get to the feds before he is killed by his own network after he arrested for carrying out vigilantly justice for the group.

Good Cop Bad Cop

CraigDGriffiths Mentor Asked on May 14, 2015 in Public.
Add Comment
10 Review(s)

The end of your logline should be the beginning

“When he’s arrested for carrying out vigilante justice, a dirty cop must escape custody and get to the feds before he is killed by his own network.”

Hope that helps, good luck with this!

Richiev Singularity Reviewed on May 15, 2015.
Add Comment

Richiev’s version is an improvement and he’s right: the inciting incident should kick off the logline.

But…. why would I be root for a corrupt cop who seems only interested in saving his gluteus maximus? Who has it coming to him. As the common saying in police work goes “what goes around comes around”: life pays back in kind; what you do unto others eventually gets done unto you.

What is the hook of this story, the core concept? Is it about a corrupt cop administering “street justice”? Or is it about a corrupt cop belonging to a secret cabal of cops, a modern-day star chamber, executing “street justice” because they are frustrated with the failure to get legal justice in the courts?

fwiw

dpg Singularity Reviewed on May 15, 2015.
Add Comment

I started that way but couldn’t get it to read well. But starting with the incident is smarter.

CraigDGriffiths Mentor Reviewed on May 15, 2015.
Add Comment

It is hard to get the entire scheme in the line. Each cop does revenge for other cops so it can’t be traced back. There is a fanatic in the group who has become the de facto leader. When the MC is caught he makes the call to have him killed. This fanatic sees the vengeance as all important.

The MC is willing to go to gaol but the leader isn’t willing to risk it.

There is a slight split in the group and that is how the MC gets the tip off. He decides the Feds are his only choice. Think of a collective of Dexters.

CraigDGriffiths Mentor Reviewed on May 15, 2015.
Add Comment

Thanks for the clarification. I used to work for the police (LAPD), so I am intrigued by the concept, aware of real life circumstances and mind sets that could spawn such a conspiracy. I assume this vigilante conspiracy is all within the same large metropolitan police department or sheriff jurisdiction.

dpg Singularity Reviewed on May 15, 2015.
Add Comment

Your Review

By posting your review, you agree to the privacy policy and terms of service.