A self help guru with waning confidence is blackmailed into helping an inept super villain take over the world.
This logline doesn’t have a goal. What’s the guru’s goal?
Once we know what the super villain is using to blackmail the guru, we will know what the guru’s goal is. For-instance if the super villain kidnapped his sister, then saving his sister would be the goal.
Also, I would say “Insecure self help guru” instead of “A self help guru with waning confidence” because it’s shorter.
Hope that helped, I think there is a solid idea here. good luck with this!
Agree with both of RIchiev’s comments … the lack of a goal is a pretty big issue. The “blackmailing” needs context, as he says. What is being done to force him to help?
That said, you should know that my first reaction reading it was “OK – I’m listening …”
Sounds like a great fun, exciting premise. Keep at it.
Thank you both. Especially for the suggestion of “insecure self help guru.”
I think I may have been too concentrated on brevity to remember giving him a goal. I was thinking that the villain kidnapped the guru’s wife (or girl friend, I haven’t decided which it it yet) along with the guru himself and threaten to kill her if the guru doesn’t help.
I’ll try to get that into the next version of the logline.