After a bittersweet divorce, the most successful writer of his time spirals into a depressive writer’s block. He begins his life anew alongside his two new and highly dysfunctional roommates which inadvertently jumpstarts his new comedic book series, Man Chronicles.
The first sentence in this logline describes back-story and can be cut down to: After suffering a depressive writer’s block…
The problem with this concept is that it lacks a clear line of causality between the actions and events it describes. Divorce then writer’s block then new life then new roomates then new book, these do not logically necessitate each other in the order they are written in the logline. The events and actions in the logline may be clearly connected in the synopsis, but for the logline purposes best to describe only the A plot vital actions. If the main character is a writer, the A plot is about him overcoming his writers block not his divorce (backstory) or his new roomates (allies).
The other problem is the lack of a clearly defined and visual goal. What is it exactly that he wants? To write a successful book is not a good enough goal, success is too broad and won’t translate visually to the cinema screenvery well. Perhaps best to define a deadline by which he has to turn in a manuscript to his publisher or else he loses his contract?