After a mega storm a single mum rush home to find her teenage daughter missing and an escaped prisoner waiting. She must help him escape to find out what he has done with her daughter.

CraigDGriffiths Mentor Asked on October 6, 2015 in Thriller.
Add Comment
3 Review(s)

Hello,
if the prisoner escaped it’s not clear why she must help him to escape (maybe she must help him to hide or to leave the country).

The storm may be an exellent setting but I find it useless in the logline.

Maybe, you can be more specific about the prisoner (it would be a very different movie if he’s a political prisoner or a murderer or a rapist)

I personally like the ‘standard’ logline structure, something like

When the only witness of her daughter’s disappearing is a political prisoner on the run, a single mother must help him hiding if she wants to have her daughter back.

if the movie is about a ‘one night’ during a storm, then:

In one stormy night, a single mother must hide an escapee if she want to find out what happened to her daughter.

I think this can work!

FFF Mentor Reviewed on October 6, 2015.

The second escape could be “get away” or “get out of town”. The post mega storm was stated to set tone and indicate a loss of infrastructure and more police etc on the street.

Thanks for your feedback.

on October 7, 2015.
Add Comment

Agreed with the above about mentioning the storm. The only times I find the setting placed well in a logline is when it plays a vital part in the plot (Life Of Pie as an example).

Presumably an escaped prisoner would draw more police presence out and about to search for him so that alone will raise the risk for her to succeed. I think best to describe in specific terms what the prisoner wants her to do for him i.e: drive him to the state border, smuggle him in her car out of town or kill an enemy or witness.

Hope this helps.

Nir Shelter Singularity Reviewed on October 7, 2015.
Add Comment

A single mum returns home to find her teenage daughter missing and an escaped prisoner waiting. She must him get to his pick up point o find out what he has done with her daughter.

CraigDGriffiths Mentor Reviewed on October 10, 2015.
Add Comment

Your Review

By posting your review, you agree to the privacy policy and terms of service.