After a supernatural creature slaughtered his family and a handful of other people 15 years ago at his Nevadan hometown, Roland Fisher, sets off once again to find the truth when the same incident occurs yet again, leaving one boy survivor in the creature’s trail of murder.

Daffa Sudaryono Penpusher Asked on October 18, 2015 in Thriller.
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3 Review(s)

Hi Daffa:

As a rule of thumb there is no need to mention the Main Character’s name (unless it is vital like Jesus for example or a character’s name in a biopic) other wise best to structure a logline around a single plot from the point of view of the main character.

What is the MC inciting incident, character flaw and goal?
These should be answered in the logline normally in that order and with approximately 25-30 words in total.

bellow is a helpful link with more details on logline construction:
http://logline.it/howto/

Hope this helps.

Nir Shelter Singularity Reviewed on October 19, 2015.

Thank you for the insight, I’ve only scratched the surface of screenwriting and I really appreciate your help.

on October 19, 2015.
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I find it a little unclear.

“a man goes in search of a young boy who is the sole survivor of a slaughter by the same supernatural creatures that killed his own family fifteen years earlier”

This version just looks at the events.  You can add in any colour you want.  The one thing I also think is missing is why.  Why is he going to find the boy, is the need for the truth compelling enough?  How much more truth is there to be found?  He knows his family was killed by supernatural creatures.

CraigDGriffiths Overlord Reviewed on October 20, 2015.
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Why a town in  Nevada?  Is there a connection with Area 51?

dpg Singularity Reviewed on October 20, 2015.
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