After a terror attack, the highly decorated FBI lead investigator finds his only son was the mastermind. He must choose between giving up his son or protecting him

atobs Penpusher Asked on November 17, 2015 in Thriller.
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3 Review(s)

The logline sets up a situation — but, alas,  not a plot.  Unless the plot is that after the father discovers at the end of Act 1 that his son masterminded a terror attack, he agonizes for the next 60 + pages/minutes  over what to do about it.  The plot is all about him not being able to make up his mind until Act 3.  How exciting is that?

Or is it the more likely scenario that after he finds out, events will compel him to quickly decide what to do at the start of Act 2?  So what must he urgently decide to do when he finds out — and what are the consequences that follow?

dpg Singularity Reviewed on November 17, 2015.
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The main character’s dilemma is interesting, but should be understood from the plot instead of being literally spelled out.

For example:
After a decorated FBI agent discovers his son masterminded a terror attack, he must stop his next planned attack at all costs.

Nir Shelter Singularity Reviewed on November 17, 2015.

I like your re-write. It is short enough there’s room for a few more details.

on November 20, 2015.

Better, yes, but whether or not the mastermind happens to be his son , the FBI agent still has to stop the next attack at all costs.  So knowing  that the culprit is his son stirs in some emotional complexity, which is good, but by itself doesn’t seem to fit as the trigger.  Again, it’s the FBI agent’s job, his objective goal,  to stop the bad guy, regardless of who he is, or is not.

on November 25, 2015.
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Not a bad idea, my writer just worked out  a simular idea/logline of mine into a screenplay. Give me the same thing, only different. ha-ha

We will see a lot of these sort  ideas fast. It’s the time for it. Best article I found this year: http://www.writersdigest.com/online-editor/6-secrets-to-creating-and-sustaining-suspense

Rutger Oosterhoff Samurai Reviewed on November 17, 2015.
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