After a werewolf saughters the family of a pregnant newlywed and she loses her child, she becomes a cold-hearted hunter and uncovers it’s her best friend.

    McCreedy Penpusher Asked on September 25, 2015 in Horror.
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      This has all the basic elements, just needs to be grammatically better.cleaner. Something along the lines of-

      “After a werewolf violently takes the lives of her family and unborn child, a young newlywed turns into a cold-hearted hunter, only to discover the werewolf is her best friend.”

      I feel there could be a little more added to describe the main storyline though. She turns into or becomes a cold-hearted hunter which is important, but that doesn’t really describe what she is actually DOING for most of the movie. So for example,

      “Hardened by a brutal werewolf attack that takes the lives of her family and unborn child, a young newlywed… [WHAT SHE DOES], only to discover the werewolf is her best friend.”

      The last phrase about her best friend is actually optional, but if it happens say midway through the story then it’s better to include it. If it’s a final act twist, then it’s probably better to leave it out.

      steveylang Samurai Reviewed on September 25, 2015.
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        I can’t understand what is the main idea of the movie. If it’s just a revenge movie I think it’s not original enough.
        An unbord child is mentioned, it seems to me an useless detail (a slaughtered family is enough, no need to add the details about all the members of the family – unless the unborn child have some peculiar interest in the story, which should be clear if it is the case).

        The thing that seems more promising is the fact that the murderer is her best friend, so I would start to build from this – and push it harder.
        “When a pregnant newlywed discover that her husband is the werewolf who slaughtered her family, she…”
        Tell me what happens and this is a movie I woul like to see!
        What I’m trying to say is that in horror you have to come up with at least one original detail to succed.

        Anyway, if the fact that the werewolf is her best friend is “just” a final reveal, it’s a 5 seconds scene and it shouldn’t be mentioned in the logline.

        Watch “dog soldiers”, an excellent movie about werewolfs.

        FFF Mentor Reviewed on September 25, 2015.

        Your suggested opening is really good, tighter than mine. I think the secret of writing good log lines is knowing that prepositional phrases are your best friend!

        on September 25, 2015.
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          Thanks everybody!  Good stuff!

          McCreedy Penpusher Reviewed on October 6, 2015.
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