After he’s mislead and rejected by a straight guy, a frustrated, angry, gay man struggles to regain his personal power by trying to control, bed and degrade a straight hustler with a dangerous drug addiction.

Night (a short screenplay)

jcs Penpusher Asked on September 2, 2013 in Public.
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3 Review(s)

Hey man i think you are using to many words..remember to try and stay under 21 ……….What is the protags goal it needs to be something stronger……Why is this important now………..The insighting incident needs to be a event………………….AA SMITH 5 Things your Protagonist can’t survive without…..FUNCTION, WEAKNESS,INSIGHTING INCIDENT, GOAL AND STAKES……….

Alexpsmith Penpusher Reviewed on September 2, 2013.
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Again, stakes need to be higher. What does he lose. His dignity? That might not be enough for a film.

If he’s in danger of losing his *family*, or his *life*…. better. But even “risks losing his job” is pretty stank for a film these days.

TOAST Default Reviewed on September 2, 2013.
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“After a humiliating rejection, an emasculated homosexual seeks vindication by seducing and degrading a drug-addicted hustler.”

I think that’s pretty much the above condensed, but as TOAST says … the stakes are so low (and your protagonist quite unsympathetic) such that when I read the above I ask … “WHY?” What does your protagonist get by doing this? What does he stand to lose?

nicholasandrewhalls Samurai Reviewed on September 3, 2013.
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