After their town is invaded by the undead, it's up to a group of local video gamers to use the skills they've learned playing, Zombie Death Kill, to save their community from the Zombie Apocalypse.
What a great idea!
Just a few points…
*With the logline, focus on one person instead of a group. Who is he/she, their faults, something to overcome etc
(By focusing on one person, gives the reader someone to cheer for etc, kinda hard with a group, to many faces etc (ref logline only)
*Try to keep the logline to 25-27 Words – This is a guideline, anything under 30 is good.
* “Zombie”, try not to use the same word twice.
*They’re gamers, I’m sure they’ve played more than one zombie game. Take out “Zombie Death Kill” unless this game title is a dramatic part of the story? If so keep it in.
*In my opinion don’t use the the word “invade”, maybe overrun, taken over…use more powerful words!
“After their town is swarmed by the undead, a timid video gamer and his friends must unite and use their skills to save themselves from the Zombie hoard” (28 words)
Something like that, but better!
Best of luck, would love to read the script!!