“An art forgery investigator deciphers location of stolen diamonds using her brother’s diary that mysteriously appears at her doorstep. She embarks on a hunt for the treasure finding her family lost decades ago and the truth about her father who masterminded an international heist.”

corridorone Penpusher Asked on September 28, 2015 in Thriller.
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2 Review(s)

Sounds intriguing. I’d recommend streamlining it so it’s a little less complicated. The logline is getting lost in the detail of the story.

Chris Andrews Penpusher Reviewed on September 28, 2015.

Thank you Chris. I did run shorter version before and wasn’t so successful.  But will try again. Rafael H. Derchansky www.rhdera.com

on September 28, 2015.

When her brother’s diary mysteriously appears at her doorstep, an art forgery investigator uses it to decipher location of stolen diamonds. She also discovers the truth about her father who masterminded an international heist and embarks on a hunt for the treasure during which she finds her family lost decades ago.

on September 29, 2015.
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Hi Rafael,

Sounds great!

The inciting incident is when she finds the diary at the doorstep, right?

Perhaps rewrite the logline using the formula recommended here: How to write a logline.

I think you have the goods for an engaging story. Now refine the logline!

I hope this helps.

Cheers,

Karel

Karel Segers Samurai Reviewed on September 28, 2015.

Thank you Karel, will do suggested modifications. Regards Rafael D.

on September 28, 2015.

When her brother’s diary mysteriously appears at her doorstep, an art forgery investigator uses it to decipher location of stolen diamonds. She also discovers the truth about her father who masterminded an international heist and embarks on a hunt for the treasure during which she finds her family lost decades ago.

on September 29, 2015.
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