An insecure process server, becomes the target of a serial killer, and teams u with a private investigator to catch the killer and regain his self confidence.
Neat one liner but contains too many elements. Serial killer’s target, private investigator, catch the killer, regain self confidence. Which one is the important one? In which order do they go? Two goals- catch the killer and regain self confidence, and two set ups- target of the serial killer and teams up with a private investigator. Less is more- “An insecure process server regains his self confidence after teaming up with a private investigator to catch a serial killer.”?