Escaping from a crashed prison plane with a murderer, a trusting lawyer wrongfully arrested for fraud, must evade him while she eliminates the vicious, money-hungry husband who framed her, before she can prove her innocence to a pursuing misogynistic FBI agent.
Some points of clarification would help improve this logline.
– As written, it sounds like the lawyer and the murderer are the only survivors of the crash. OK, but then why is the murderer now pursuing the lawyer instead of just trying to escape to freedom?
– What is meant by her trying to “eliminate” her husband? Is she trying to kill him? Wouldn’t that prevent her from being able to prove her innocence (not to mention making her guilty of an actual and much greater crime than fraud?). Wouldn’t she want to find and detain her husband so he could support her argument?
The plot as presented seems similar to that of The Fugitive. You might consider reworking the logline for that film to fit your circumstances, maybe something like this:
A lawyer – falsely accused of fraud – struggles on the lam as she desperately searches for the husband who framed her, with a relentless federal agent is hot on her trail.
There sure are a lot of bad guys in this logline. That’s probably why it ‘s too long. However this’s a good concept.
The previous critique, they probably wouldn’t be transporting a prisoner before the trial was valid. (I believe from a previous attempt at your logline)
How about this:
“After her prison plane crashes, a wrongly convicted fugitive must evade a misogynistic FBI agent and an escaped serial rapist while she hunts for clues that’ll prove her innocence.” -29 words-
Hope that helped, good luck with this!
There have been several films made with this crashed plane scenario. I don’t really see how it can add to the plot, unless the murderer, who is not a rapist, but someone who is a bad guy with a golden heart, decides to help her to prove her innocence. It would be an unusual twist, anyway, although it has been done before with guys who become ‘buddies’.
So, maybe it could be:
After her prison plane crashes, a gullible lawyer arrested for fraud enlists the help of the other survivor of the crash, a convicted murderer, to find her husband who framed her and help clear her name.’ or something like that.