Four friends, who are all about to go through some life changing experiences. The Brotherhood is about to become The Fatherhood. And it isn’t going to be easy

Nii Penpusher Asked on October 6, 2015 in Drama.
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4 Review(s)

This subject is generally interesting, but not nearly descriptive enough for a logline, as you’ve described a general life experience.

For example, Wild Hogs is about 4 friends who have a middle-age crisis, well that’s pretty ordinary. But the hook is that they all buy Harleys and go on a road trip, and get into it with a real biker gang. Regardless of how the movie turned out, I thought that was a great concept.

Yours does not have to be so high concept, but just telling us fatherhood is not easy is self-evident. You have to give us more.

steveylang Samurai Reviewed on October 7, 2015.
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This describes a situation not a plot.

The next draft of the logline neds to answer the following:
Who needs to achieve what and why?

Hope this helps.

Nir Shelter Singularity Reviewed on October 7, 2015.
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Thank you so much for your input – its been very helpful 🙂
Now I’m off to revise!!!

Nii Penpusher Reviewed on October 7, 2015.
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I’ve had a stab at a couple of revisions – would love to get your feedback…

Charles needs to rebuild his relationship with his son. Michael needs to stop Zoe from having their baby, whilst Andrew needs to get Rachael pregnant. And Jason has a secret that is going to shock everyone. The brotherhood is about to become the Fatherhood. And its likely there will be some casualties along the way.

-OR-

Four friends navigate the intricacies of their relationships as one struggles with fertility and another is about to become a father through a one night stand. The brotherhood is about to become the Fatherhood, but its likely there will be some casualties along the way.

Nii Penpusher Reviewed on October 12, 2015.
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