in the near future a Government sponsored torturer is using his position to steal information and money from death row inmates. He is unaware that his next prisoner is an undercover agent sent to trap him.

The Sentence

CraigDGriffiths Overlord Asked on July 31, 2015 in Public.
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19 Review(s)

Hello, it can be interesting but
I see 2 problems:

1- it is written from the point of view of the torturer who can hardly be a good main character. I personally spontaneoulsy root for the undercover agent.

2- this is only a situation, the beginning, and it doesn’t give enough details about the second act which is the biggest part of the movie.

Why in a near future?

FFF Mentor Reviewed on July 31, 2015.
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The near future because I want people to see it as a possibility, not some abstract fantasy. It is more of a battle of wills. We think the agent is actually a bad guy until the reveal going into the third act.

We then have to save him before the torturer carries out the sentence.

CraigDGriffiths Overlord Reviewed on July 31, 2015.
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Thanks.

CraigDGriffiths Overlord Reviewed on July 31, 2015.
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Even if the prisoner is a bad guy I can’t root for a torturer who tortures him for money. And who is the opponent in act 2? A ‘bad’ prisoner in chains wo get tortured? I don’t think he can be a valid opponent.

Try to focus on your main character, what happens in his life that put the story in motion, and how the main character deals with it; what is his goal and who is the opponent. You don’t even need to mention a 3rd act revelation, in my opinion.

FFF Mentor Reviewed on July 31, 2015.
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I think it can be set IN THE PRESENT. There are many more or less secret prisons where ANYTHING happens right today.

FFF Mentor Reviewed on July 31, 2015.
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