Mistaken as Earth’s leader, due to his popularity on social media, a washed up actor is abducted by aliens to help prove humanity is worth saving from imminent destruction.

Star Witness

Knightrider Mentor Asked on July 5, 2015 in Public.
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5 Review(s)

Is his name Arthur Dent? Sounds an awful lot like The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.

Lemmy Caution Penpusher Reviewed on July 5, 2015.
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(Sorry I had a crash before I could finish.) The premise has great comic potential, though I’d avoid the Douglas Adams parallel. However a court battle is not going to hold attention for 90 mins – the court case sounds like the inciting incident, maybe the end of Act 1 (In Hitchhiker the Vogons are gone by Chapter 2). You need to give us some Goals, some Action and some original Consequences.

Lemmy Caution Penpusher Reviewed on July 5, 2015.
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Hello, I recommend to change the aliens’ plan to build a highway with something else or you can’t get rid of the Hitchikers’s guide reference (this is the reason for the earth to be destroyed in the novel and the movie).

I like a lot that the alien pick the wrong person because of his social media popularity, but after the abduction you should build a plot( with one man an the aliens on an alien spaceship?).

I would avoid “arrogant” – it doesn’t help empathy, and we have already understand that he have some weakness from the context.

FFF Mentor Reviewed on July 5, 2015.
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Thanks for the feedback, much appreciated.

I guess the Court Battle would be the Third Act, while the film will be about the preparation, the mistakes he could make like witness tampering, for a while he may still think he is auditioning for a role, and how his arrogance and belief he doesn’t have to confront anything as there will always be people to handle situations for him comes becomes his own obstacles as he tries numerous methods to get the case thrown out.

Yep, I agree the Highway was a bit of an uninspired choice. So I might – hopefully – try and add an element of “Social Commentary”, which even the pros struggle to do without being preachy so I will need to be careful, but I though that perhaps a scientist is on the verge of a new technology that will propel mankind into space, but we focus on celeb gossip and reality TV and so we have our priorities wrong, but aliens are worried about this tech and must decide if we should be allowed, confined to Earth or eradicated.

Knightrider Mentor Reviewed on July 6, 2015.
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This essentially reads as a courtroom drama set in space. That was the hook for me not the character or how he got to be in space.

As such I don’t think the whole explanation of the MC being a popular social media figure needs to be included.

The premise sounds as if it could have a lot of potential but in my mind needs work. Perhaps best to research all the successful court room drama films you can think of and analyse their structure and archetypes. A Few Good Men, And Justice For All, The Rain Maker and Erin Brockovich come to mind.

Looking at these it seams as if most of the action or the interesting action at least happened to the lawyers outside the court room.

Hope this helps.

Nir Shelter Singularity Reviewed on July 6, 2015.
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