Seeking revenge for her sexual assault a woman crosses the line into vigilante; she is now hunted by police and the community she believes she protects.

CraigDGriffiths Overlord Asked on September 28, 2015 in Action.
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5 Review(s)

Structurally, it sounds like a FUGITIVE story.

The vigilante aspect of this story is interesting, and perhaps you can elaborate on this a little.

To keep the logline transparent, perhaps you can start with the default formula: “When a woman is sexually assaulted, she becomes a vigilante [doing what?], being hunted by the police as she protects her community.”

I would remove “she believes”, as a logline is to be read from the POV of the main character.

Finally “a woman” is quite bland for a main character. Can you give her more of a face? A flaw?

Karel Segers Samurai Reviewed on September 28, 2015.
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I think it is missing some small twist or additional detail that makes it more than just a female version of Death Wish or some other vigilante movie. Also, is the main storyline about her pursuing her assailant, protecting the community from criminals, or both?

steveylang Samurai Reviewed on September 28, 2015.
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Here is the story so far.  She is a self-defence teacher that has little respect for women that stay in abusive relationships.  She is attacked, “panics” and doesn’t fight (yes different motivations to an abusive relationship).  She is helped by a police officer but can’t get over the trauma.  She goes on a revenge spree.  During the spree she accidentally kills the wrong person who turns out to be evil.

She crosses the line into vigilantism.  She now cruises the streets looking to avenge victims of crime.  The community like her the cops see her as a serial killer.  Finally she is forced to choose between saving the cop that helped her and getting caught.  She chooses to let the cop die to continue her work.  The community now hates her as well.  This is just some big points not the entire story.

I need to add some specific goals to create a story to follow as well as the threats to throw at her.  But this is the world so far.  It may be a little “Run of the mill” I am thinking of an ultra-violent female anti-hero walking on the edge of insanity.

CraigDGriffiths Overlord Reviewed on September 29, 2015.
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I think the basic concept has great potential.  But  “Hunted by the police and community” is too  general.    One thing that might benefit the logline — and story — is to designate a specific nemesis who arises and becomes as obsessed with hunting her down as she is with being a vigilante.

dpg Singularity Reviewed on October 2, 2015.
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Hello Craig,

“When seeking revenge for her sexual assault, a vigilante finds herself hunted by the police and then by the community she believes protecting”

Jean-Marie Mazaleyrat Samurai Reviewed on October 13, 2015.
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