Series Logline: A quirky, man crazy, thirty-something turns her life upside down to find out why she is loveless and unlucky in New York City.
This feels like it needs one more element to put it over. How does she turn her life upside down? Does she become a cat burglar and breaks into the homes of people she thinks are happy to spy on them and then she gets caught? Does she fake her own death and then pretend to be private eye, investigating her own murder, but interviewing all her past loves to figure out what went wrong? What are her quirks? Is she OCD? Does she hear voices? Or does she just like her coffee a certain way?
As it is, this sounds generic. What’s your big first episode scene where we get a sense of – holy crap, this woman is NUTS! Give a hint of that here.
When working spec on a series best to start by drafting a logline for the pilot. It is this episode that will set the tone, look, feel, episode structure and most importantly of all the ongoing premise of the series.
What happens to the MC in the first episode that forces her to need to achieve something? In other words what is the inciting incident and goal in the first ep?
Hope this helps.