A mentorship between a pragmatic and manipulative businessman and an underprivileged high school genius evolves into a battle of wits as both try to prove their intellectual superiority over the other.

The Mentorship

Adamu95 Penpusher Asked on June 12, 2015 in Public.
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3 Review(s)

Who is this story about?

There are two potential main characters and neither appear to be specified as such.

After specifying the main character;
What is the inciting incident? What makes them need to do something?
What is their goal? What do they need to achieve that will drive them through the story?

The character descriptions are too long “…pragmatic and manipulative businessman…” thats three descriptions that don’t compound each other rather add very little in their own right. What is the one characteristic that will drive this character to do what he does in the story?
Same goes for the high school student.

Hope this helps.

Nir Shelter Singularity Reviewed on June 12, 2015.
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In agreement with Nir Shelter. I’m no expert, but while being here I’m picking up knowledge and from my perspective, what’s the goal for their intellectual chess match? What is the fate of them meeting and engaging in that battle of wits? Add the irony and take it to the next level. Hope this also helps.

Darion Default Reviewed on June 12, 2015.
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I don’t think you have a mentorship between two people. One is the mentor, the other the protégé.

Default Reviewed on June 12, 2015.
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