Three non-criminals out of pocket and out of luck hold up a convenient store to earn some much needed money.
maybe you can include some kind of opponent and a better characterization for the 3 ‘non-ciminals’. What happens? some details? The rob the store, so what? In this kind of movie you can’t count only on funny dialogues.
I suggest you to take a step back and try to fit a standar logline format, just to check if you have everything you need to fuel a whole movie :
When [a major event happens: the inciting event that put the story in motion], [the Hero] must [do the main action], to win [his goal].
The above review is true – there are no stakes here. Out of money, aren’t we all? What makes them different? Also, I would avoid “non-criminals”. (Maybe upstanding citizens?) When I read it, my eyes only saw criminal, so I thought it’s just three criminals holding up a convenience store. It sounds a little like The Full Monty, a movie that I love. And the friends all had different reasons for doing what they did. If we know their motivation, we can forgive their bad deed. More irony and a little more insight into why they need this money would go a long way. Keep us posted?