A corporate burnout turned janitor receives a call from his ex-wife wanting to rekindle their marriage. Desperate to make it work, he must tell the truth and divulge his new career as a janitor. (Short Film)

Tom Davidson Samurai Asked on September 28, 2015 in Drama.
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2 Review(s)

Love the concept!

Wouldn’t the conflict be that he tries to hide his new career?

And what is at stake for him? Does he also want to rekindle the marriage?

Karel Segers Samurai Reviewed on September 28, 2015.

Thanks karel,
yes he is very reluctant to share his new job, that’s the conflict.

Whats at stake for him is the opportunity to get back with his wife. But he knows her, and feels that she won’t take him back if his day job is a cleaner.

on September 28, 2015.
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This is a great premise- however that is all that it is, as you have not really described the main plot line.

I can see it going many different ways, some dramatic and some comedic. I think this is actually a good rom-com setup, even though you’ve indicated it’s a short.

steveylang Samurai Reviewed on September 28, 2015.

Thanks for your comment Steve!
The film IS the phone call mentioned in the log line. Of course I have left out mentioning the final scene/act 3 where we got some finality.

In the film the conflict is him not wanting to tell her his new job, the last time they spoke he was at rock bottom/unemployed. There’s a mutual friend who’s in the conversation too, he’s not necessary but he makes it more interesting.The janitor does reach a point where she tells him not to worry and that she’s 100% open. The mutual friend is also covertly telling him via text chat that he should go for it and just come clean about his new job. He tells her and she’s okay with it and they agree to meet at an interstate resort a full day’s drive away to make a fresh start on their marriage.

However when the janitor arrives at the resort he receives a phone call from her – she’s not coming, and we learn that she’s not open to the idea of him being a janitor at all. He ends up alone at the resort. The End.

The more of that I tried putting in, the more jumbled and unsound  the log line became. The script in my head makes sense and ticks the boxes, but I can’t make a sound log line from it, which is a red flag for me, but I don’t where or how?

And it’s a drama, quite a cold one. Some viewers may even see it as a cold or dark comedy depending on their outlook.

on September 28, 2015.
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