When a egocentric scientist is abducted by a intergalactic tyrant. She must band together with her fellow captives and escape the prison ship and warn earth of its imminent destruction.

Andrew Bates Penpusher Asked on September 30, 2015 in SciFi.
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Hi Andrew,

Great to see you active in our new look site! I like the concept, but think you can improve the actual logline.

“When a egocentric scientist … tyrant” is a subclause. You can’t end it on a full-stop.

Also the ‘and’ – ‘and’ sounds awkward.

A few words on the story: it is plain and simple, and may well work. That said, there isn’t really anything super exciting about the concept that makes it stand out. These days, to get interest in a SciFi concept, it must be highly unique. Mostly they’re high concept. This isn’t really…

That said, the stakes are high, and the goal is clear.

My final point: it feels like the story isn’t over when Earthy is simple ‘warned’. The enemy is still on its way…

So I’m expecting there will be a battle in Act 3? Try to work it into the logline, in a way that sounds appealing.

Karel Segers Samurai Reviewed on September 30, 2015.
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