When a gang of street kids are trapped in an abandoned high-rise by armed vigilantes, a homeless veteran must overcome his trauma or let the children die.
I like the logline,
I would avoid “overcome his trauma” or transform it into something more detailed (what trauma ? if it’s just “war”, it’s almost implied in the character of a homeless veteran).
Some ideas for a title:
“Hell in the suburb”
I think that you have a viable concept, will it be a low profile / full action movie (like the title “urban combat” suggests), or a more sophisticated kind of movie? Is it “machete” or “deer hunter”? Anyway, what I like in the concept is that the main character has a clear flow and that the opponents could have an understandable point of view (like clean the neighborhood?) – maybe the motivation of the main character is not so powerful, maybe one of the kids was his friend or something? I personally don’t like the logline ending with “or let them die” because I don’t really care if “they” die, not yet, why the main character cares? The stakes are kind of obvious for the kids but not for the main character (childeren die all the time somewhere in the world). Watch “citadel” and “la horde” for the suburb/tower setting.
Citadel : when a baby is hold in a citadel by a gang of hooded scums, his agoraphobic father must overcome his fear if he wants to save him.
I like it, I get a sense of the story, the acts, the character and the location.
What could be a point of difference between this and films like The Raid or Dredd where both are working their way up levels of a highrise… that is down to you, but what those movies prove is the idea works, and in the business a proven concept is almost as good as a franchise.
I wish you the best of luck.
I know some people dislike the term trauma, I don’t mind it so much, but I get the sense it maybe a little vague, but still think it is OK… Oh another thing, I would give your character a fear of heights, much like Jaws where the MC had a fear of water.
Thanks FFF. High Rise is a great J G Ballard book. Not that I couldn’t use it. However I was thinking – Urban Combat. But yeah, his war trauma, he doesn’t want to fight but he has to overcome that to protect these kids and train them quickly to fight back. I have actually watched this movie in a dream. I have a few like that. I’m not so sure about the last line though. Maybe ‘save their lives?’ or ‘watch the children die?’ Has anyone here seen Combat Shock? It’s a wonderful ‘no-budget’ movie.