When a gang of street kids are trapped in an abandoned high-rise by armed vigilantes, a homeless veteran must overcome his trauma or let the children die.

Clint Cure Penpusher Asked on October 21, 2015 in Action.
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6 Review(s)

How do you put a title on these?

Clint Cure Penpusher Reviewed on October 21, 2015.
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Hello,

I like the logline,

I would avoid “overcome his trauma” or transform it into something more detailed (what trauma ? if it’s just “war”, it’s almost implied in the character of a homeless veteran).

Some ideas for a title:

“High Rise”

“Raising high”

“High raising”

“Waste tower”

“Gangland”

“Salvage”

“Suburb High”

“Hell in the suburb”

“Outpost”

FFF Mentor Reviewed on October 21, 2015.
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Thanks FFF. High Rise is a great J G Ballard book. Not that I couldn’t use it. However I was thinking – Urban Combat. But yeah, his war trauma, he doesn’t want to fight but he has to overcome that to protect these kids and train them quickly to fight back. I have actually watched this movie in a dream. I have a few like that. I’m not so sure about the last line though. Maybe ‘save their lives?’ or ‘watch the children die?’ Has anyone here seen Combat Shock? It’s a wonderful ‘no-budget’ movie.

Clint Cure Penpusher Reviewed on October 21, 2015.
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I think that you have a viable concept, will it be a low profile / full action movie (like the title “urban combat” suggests), or a more sophisticated kind of movie? Is it “machete” or “deer hunter”? Anyway, what I like in the concept is that the main character has a clear flow and that the opponents could have an understandable point of view (like clean the neighborhood?) – maybe the motivation of the main character is not so powerful, maybe one of the kids was his friend or something? I personally don’t like the logline ending with “or let them die” because I don’t really care if “they” die, not yet, why the main character cares? The stakes are kind of obvious for the kids but not for the main character (childeren die all the time somewhere in the world).   Watch “citadel” and “la horde” for the suburb/tower setting.
Citadel : when a baby is hold in a citadel by a gang of hooded scums, his agoraphobic father must overcome his fear if he wants to save him.

FFF Mentor Reviewed on October 21, 2015.
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I have to agree.  Your logline sets up a good scene but gives no motivation.  Just a hint is needed for tone.  Plus I think everyone knows PTSD these days, so you could cal it that.

CraigDGriffiths Overlord Reviewed on October 22, 2015.
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