When a habitual liar forges the paperwork to establish a rural family practice, she soon finds herself in a blood-soaked examining room, trying to silence the screams of her poorly anesthetized patients.

Playing Doctor

Jaybird1091 Penpusher Asked on September 3, 2015 in Public.
Add Comment
4 Review(s)

When you describe the forger in the examining room you are describing a scene so I would  suggest removing it.
I would be more interested to know who is the antagonist and the stakes which result from her misdeed.
The essence of a logline should both entice the reader and give some semblance of what your story will be.
Keep going, I would be interested to read another version.
 

Nina Logliner Reviewed on September 30, 2015.
Add Comment

Genre: horror?

She seems to have obtained her objective goal: establish a medical practice. So what’s her goal now? What’s the plot that arises from this situation?

dpg Singularity Reviewed on September 4, 2015.
Add Comment

Why now? If she is a “…habitual liar…” how is this event an unusual one that forces her to achieve a goal?

What is her inciting incident?

Also, is this a short film?

Hope this helps.

Nir Shelter Singularity Reviewed on September 4, 2015.
Add Comment

This sounds like it’s ten pages long, and doesn’t make any sense. If she wants to pretend to be a doctor why do it in an area of so few patients who likely don’t have money or insurance? What was her reason for going there? Is she hiding from trouble she got into somewhere else? And if she knows she can’t actually get away with claiming to be a doctor when she doesn’t know what she’s doing, why would she pick that? Why not go into something where she can bluff her way through? And I myself am no doctor but I’m pretty sure an exam room is for examining patients, not anesthetizing or bleeding them…

mrliteral Penpusher Reviewed on September 5, 2015.
Add Comment

Your Review

By posting your review, you agree to the privacy policy and terms of service.