When a policeman is murdered by a bikie gang, a disguised woman tries to dispose of the body, but she must convince the drug addicted pilot of her crashed plane, to hide the body before they can be rescued.

Lace

Leon Davis Logliner Asked on September 17, 2015 in Crime.
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5 Review(s)

Surviving a light plane crash a disguised woman must convince the drug effected pilot to hide the body of the dead cop she was transporting before they are rescued.

I don’t like disguised I don’t think it adds to the story.

CraigDGriffiths Overlord Reviewed on September 17, 2015.
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Not sure what is the inciting incident – the one thing that starts the story. Is it the murder of the policeman? The woman disposing the body? Or the woman convincing the pilot to hide a body?

After that is sorted out. Who is the MC? The pilot or the woman? What is she or he is trying to do? Get rescued? Wouldn’t any plane crash bring resuers on the scene?

The pieces don’t connect to produce a coherent story. I think you meant:

“After a woman murders a policeman she must hide the body in order to avoid going to jail.” (18 words)

Isn’t that any crime story? I think you are hiding the ball.

Frugal Writer Penpusher Reviewed on September 17, 2015.
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Hello,
this writing seems to me a little messy, you should put the things in order to make it a better read.

FFF Mentor Reviewed on September 17, 2015.
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An update
Trapped in the wreckage of a light plane, a disguised bikie moll must convince the drug effected pilot to hide the body of the dead cop she was transporting, before they are rescued.

Leon Davis Logliner Reviewed on September 24, 2015.
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Thanks for you thoughts.
Trapped in the wreckage of a light plane, a disguised bikie moll must convince the drug effected pilot to hide the body of the dead cop she was transporting, before they are rescued.

Leon Davis Logliner Reviewed on September 25, 2015.
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