When a privileged naïve young woman is attacked by an enraged lunatic accusing her of assassinating his wife, her sheltered world comes crashing down around her with the possibility he may be right.
I really enjoyed this log line and can see it opening up many conflicts internally and externally. I’d perhaps only keep the descriptions of the characters to one or two, so a privileged naive woman, or a privileged young woman. Just seems a lot of description. Otherwise a good log line.
I think this has good possibilities. Two things- the young girl needs an adjective/ flaw that hightens the mystery more, e.g. ‘bi-polar’ or ‘paranoid’ etc. Second- you have the protagonist, the inciting incident, and the antagonist but after that you need the goal and the stakes rather than the fluffy line about her “world crashing”. A good start with real promise.
Hi Phil. Thanks for the feedback.
I was intending her flaw to be the ‘naive’ part. Ironically you list psychological disorders and she has one. She has severe agoraphobia. But I thought it sounded clunky and pretentious when included in the logline. Instead it’s kind of alluded to by describing her world as sheltered. I would love to hear what people think of including the agoraphobia. Not sure if everyone knows what it is.