When a spot at the local drag show opens last minute, an overly-confident teenager sneaks in and prepares his act quickly to prove himself worthy of a steady gig.

themattknarr Penpusher Asked on December 3, 2015 in Student Loglines.
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3 Review(s)

Specific detail helps shape the plot and give the concept elements of interest, the lack of which render the logline unclear.

The teen’s exact goal needs to be described what does a steady gig in a drag show mean? Will he be the star of the show? A singer? A dancer? Backup vocals? etc…
The inciting incident is not a good motivator as it doesn’t force the main character to take action, rather it gives him the option to do something. How else can you push this character into having to achieve something?

Lastly the main character’s description indicates an education plot, which means an internal journey from cocky to humble these are difficult to pull off but can make for great stories. What makes this character under go his change? As this will be the main part of your story it should be clear in the logline.

Nir Shelter Singularity Reviewed on December 3, 2015.
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I agree with Nir Shelter that  his goal needs to be more clearly defined.  Is the plot all about him seizing the moment when there’s an opening  in Act 1, preparing  for his debut in in  Act 2, making his  debut in Act 3?  Or is  Act 2 about what happens after he gets to perform in the show on or about the end of Act 1?

Isn’t the steady gig” merely a means to an end, a stepping stone to something bigger, greater?   What’s his biggest dream — the one that’s really driving him to try out for the drag show?  What’s at stake?  What does he stand to gain if he succeeds?  What does he stand to lose if he fails?

dpg Singularity Reviewed on December 4, 2015.
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Apart from what the others already have asked, I’m kinda wondering who, or what stands in his way? Is it the drag queen diva of the establishment? I actually hope it is. Some old, sassy queen with a razor sharp tongue and unwilling to give up her spot.

In what way does a spot open, by the way? Does someone become incapacitated in some way? Or is it some kind of drag show equivalent of open mike night, which would probably be a recurring thing, but the protagonist is forced to rush things before anyone finds out he’s underage – presumably it’s a place where they serve alcohol and he’s not yet old enough to drink? This may not fit your idea at all, so I’d perfectly understand if you ignore this. I’m just spitballing here.

Adam Bernström Logliner Reviewed on December 7, 2015.
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