A surveillance operator struggles to keep her team from falling apart as they pursue the crime syndicate that murdered her brother during an unsanctioned operation.

Lost Command

kbfilmworks Samurai Asked on June 9, 2014 in Public.
Add Comment
33 Review(s)

What is an off-duty operation?
Also, i’ve not seen the french, and i can garauntee that some others havn’t either. So i would drop that part and instead write what their surveilance operation is.

Default Reviewed on June 9, 2014.
Add Comment

Although I have seen the “French Connection” and understand the reference, I think it’s better for loglines not to reference other movies. Save that for the pitch.

dpg Singularity Reviewed on June 9, 2014.
Add Comment

I have a couple of questions:

1) Do you mean off the book rather than of duty operation? An operation un sanctioned by the hierarchy.

2) what is a surveillance operator? Is it a police officer or FBI or any other Federal agency such as DEA, ATF agent doing surveillance?

3) why is the team on the brink of self destruction?

4) why was the killer under surveillance in the first place? Drug dealer, arms dealer, spy, terrorist?

5) if the operation was just an operation of surveillance why the shoot out? Botched arrest?

When her team botches an unsanctioned arrest of a suspected terrorist that result in the death of her rookie brother, an FBI agent struggles to restrain herself when hunting the killer.

Valentin Default Reviewed on June 9, 2014.
Add Comment

‘trainee surveillance operator’ seems too long. just ‘trainee’ maybe?
then maybe use ‘his sister, as team leader, struggles to deal with her emotions and manage the elite team as they track the killer on the streets of north London.”
overall it gets the message across, just might have too much info.

bill chipman Default Reviewed on June 9, 2014.
Add Comment

When her team botches the arrest of a terrorist that results in the death of her rookie brother a guilt-ridden FBI agent must throw out the rule book to capture the terrorist.

[Note: Implied in “must throw” is that initially she plays by all the rules only to realize, in despair and frustration, that she can’t capture him playing by the book.]

dpg Singularity Reviewed on June 9, 2014.
Add Comment

Your Review

By posting your review, you agree to the privacy policy and terms of service.