When a woman one day realizes that she sees herself from her husband’s mind, she panicked and looking feverishly for a way out of his brain.

StellaAurora Logliner Asked on October 9, 2015 in Drama.
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4 Review(s)

What is her flaw, and how will this flaw make it difficult for her to get out of his head? I see the character, the main event but I don’t see the action of How and what her flaw is that will make it hard and interesting to follow up on her throughout the movie! What external Action fights against what internal Flaw?

Chris Erics Penpusher Reviewed on October 9, 2015.
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Hello,
I like the idea, clever, original.

I would avoid “one day” (it’s vague and obvious), and she panicked (this is a quick action that doesn’t deserve to be in the logline).

You should change “woman” for a detailed character (what is her work? her flow? her characteristic the most important in the plot?).
I would pick “a shallow housewife”. So the character arc is clear (from shallow housewife who sees hersel from her housband’s p.o.v to a self conscious active indipendent woman).

“When a shallow housewife realizes that she sees herself from her husband’s mind, she looks feverishly for a way out of his brain”.

Maybe if you can visualize what makes the woman understand her initial situation. And give us a clue about how, visually, she act to free herself from her condition.

I imagine this movie in a spike jones style, surreal, with images that reflects the woman’s thoughts. It could be a very powerul angle.

FFF Mentor Reviewed on October 9, 2015.
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I think it’s a good idea, too.  But why stop with her husband’s pov?  Think bigger, expand the concept. Why not that she suddenly sees herself from everyone’s pov — her kids, her parents, her friends, her neighbors — everyone?

dpg Singularity Reviewed on October 9, 2015.
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Hello Stella,

This is very interesting.

This is a fresh idea adding an interesting perspective to close plots like What Women Want: she  sees herself through her husband’s eyes.
IMO, the most important thing is not her panic and her looking for a way out of his brain; this is the reason why she does so.
The core of your plot should be her anxiety and the million questions she asks herself about her, her husband, her life, maybe her future (are you sure she wouldn’t be better staying in his mind?…), and how she reacts to the revelations that ensue.
I assume this is the right idea behind your logline.

This can match with many genre:
drama (who’s this man I believed I knew? Is he right? how can I live with such a man? … hidden secrets, dramatic events…)
psycholigical thriller (beware the husband…)
horror (Arghhhh! he’s a vampire/werewolf…)
comedy (beware the best female friend…),
etc.

If your logline were more explicit about the plot, it would be better IMO.

“When a woman realizes she sees herself through her husband’s mind, …”

Best.

Jean-Marie Mazaleyrat Samurai Reviewed on October 12, 2015.
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