When a womanizing porn-star’s penis falls off due to a spell cast on him by his possessive porn-star wife he must undo the spell before the biggest shoot of his career and save his relationship.

andrewclau Logliner Asked on October 11, 2015 in Comedy.
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5 Review(s)

Love the high concept!

I’m just wondering whether “womanizing porn star” is in fact ironic. Isn’t it part of the persona that they are? Or perhaps it’s funny just because his meets the prejudice?

Obviously there is a great Inciting Incident. We immediately see the high-stakes value of this.

My question is: what is there to expect in Act 2. He has to stop womanizing? That would be an Inner Journey. He doesn’t really have a clear outer journey, because we don’t see a (logical) way for him to get his ‘essential tool’ back… In other words: what are the goals and the obstacles in the Outer Journey, while he tries to prove himself to his wife?

Karel Segers Samurai Reviewed on October 11, 2015.
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Hey Andrew

Agreed with Karel also what is his primary goal? Is it his relationship or his career making shoot?

I think best to pick one and dedicate the lolgine to that.

Hope this helps.

Nir Shelter Singularity Reviewed on October 11, 2015.
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I like the concept –but as the others have said.

And how can his wife be possessive and still be a porn star herself?

And I don’t see how the stakes have to be –or can be — the biggest shoot of his life.  It seems to me that the stakes are sufficient he’s lost the “love of his life” and the means to do what he does best — in fact the only thing he’s any good at,  his  money maker.

dpg Singularity Reviewed on October 12, 2015.
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Hello,
I love the idea, I think what should be included in the logline is what he must do to break the spell.

In stories with spells, there are usually 2 structures,
-How to reach the goal even with the spell (Liar liar: he need to win the case telling only the thruth). In you case, how to shoot a porno without an erection.
-How to break the spell, in this case you should give a lead about what the plan is… what happens in the movie?

FFF Mentor Reviewed on October 12, 2015.
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Thank you for the feedback guys, gives me a lot to think about. In terms of outer journeys is undoing the spell not strong enough an outer goal? This is too vague?

andrewclau Logliner Reviewed on October 24, 2015.
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