When an American bushwalker falls into an unexplored gorge, he must help his three companions escape a ravenous arachnid humanoid to survive.

The Spider

Clint Cure Penpusher Asked on June 19, 2015 in Public.
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5 Review(s)

I wonder why he must be American. And presumably his three companions also fall into the gorge. Given 20 mins to the set-up, 70 mins seems a bit long to fill with a spider chase. Have a look at Deliverance to see how John Boorman did it.

Lemmy Caution Penpusher Reviewed on June 19, 2015.
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No they climb down to help him and later blame him for getting them stuck. This is a ‘monster in the house film’ like Alien or Predator. I feel you can keep the tension up by keeping up the conflict between the characters. I might need to add a couple of words to this e.g. ‘Tasmanian’ gorge. I want the main character to be a complete outsider to his companions and environment.

Clint Cure Penpusher Reviewed on June 19, 2015.
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Then the “action” is resolving the internecine conflict and should take pride of place in the logline. The Spider is just the catalyst. I repeat my suggestion about Deliverance.

Lemmy Caution Penpusher Reviewed on June 19, 2015.
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I’m pretty familiar with Deliverance and John Boorman but that’s not the tone I’m after, although it is very similar. This is a straight up monster movie, the MAIN action is to survive the monster, to not get eaten. How would you write the logline for Deliverance in 25 words or less? Their Main action is survival.

Clint Cure Penpusher Reviewed on June 19, 2015.
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“american” has no place here (read my review of your australian theme park theme).

I understand you are trying to explore the M.I.T.H. genre but I recommend you to read again the blake snyder chapter about genres. You have to find a new way to combine the formula. Bushwalker, already seen too. Giant insect, already seen. Wild natural setting, already seen. You should struggle to find at least 1 element that bring something ‘new’ to the formula. Or a new combinationo f some old elements. But the most difficult is to build a logic in the whole concept. It’s not about ” a libanese cook must escape from the AmazonTM warehouse before robot Hitler kills everybody”: I’ve never seen this before but it’s plain s**t.

Come on! I’m sure you can write a killer logline.

FFF Mentor Reviewed on June 19, 2015.
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