When an angry lonely drag queen moonlighting as a hit man, gets given one last job, he sets out to complete the hit, but the victim turns out to be his greatest fan and instead, together they hatch the perfect escape plan

blaize major Penpusher Asked on September 30, 2015 in Noir.
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4 Review(s)

Great log line. I like how you have an event within your log line. I also quite like the word moonlighting.

wheelsonfire101234 Penpusher Reviewed on September 30, 2015.
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Hello, I think this is a quite good concept,

I suggest you to work on a shorter and better writing, and to include at least one detail about the main plot (what kind of action they will perform to escape?

I think that usually drag quenns refers to themselfs as females, I would do the same in the logline (not “his client”->”her client”).

one adjective is enough to characterize the main character (to smooth the reading). Think about the most relevant characteristic that make sense with the plot. I don’t feel very much “angry” and “lonely”… maybe lonely? Maybe “moonlighting as a hit man” is enough?

I give it a try:
“When a drag queen -moonlighting as a hit man- is hired to kill her greatest fan, they must hatch the perfect plan to save their budding love”

FFF Mentor Reviewed on September 30, 2015.
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I chuckled when I read this.  I like the idea of two drag queens as killers finding true love.  Sounds so extreme and there is plenty of  potential for comedy.  So you have the fear and the laughs.  Good.

rup11 Penpusher Reviewed on September 30, 2015.
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Reservoir Pussycats Thelma and Louise in drag

JayK Penpusher Reviewed on December 24, 2015.
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