When an ambitious underdog makes a pact with the devil, each time he accepts to restrain his freedom to go to some place, the devil grants him a wish, but as he buys his rise in society, his world become smaller and smaller, until he realizes the real consequences for him, his relatives, and humanity and that he needs to break the spell.

Running with the Land

FFF Mentor Asked on June 25, 2015 in Public.
Add Comment
8 Review(s)

When a schemer deals with the Devil to restrain his range of travelling each time he rises in society, the world shrinks until he realizes the consequences and he needs to break the spell.

Jean-Marie Mazaleyrat Samurai Reviewed on October 1, 2015.
Add Comment

Not sure of the story. Is it his rise in society at all costs, is it the relationship with real estate agent or is it the impact on other. What is his ultimate goal?

The story is unclear in this logline.

Plus selling real estate having an impact on humanity? The consequences don’t easily link to the story as described.

Wish I had more specific suggestions.

CraigDGriffiths Overlord Reviewed on June 25, 2015.
Add Comment

I’m confused, unable to make heads or tails of the logline.

dpg Singularity Reviewed on June 25, 2015.
Add Comment

Thanks for the feedback. I see it was not clear so I rewrote it –

FFF Mentor Reviewed on June 25, 2015.
Add Comment

Still confusing. It seems to be a story in the mold of the Faustian bargain, someone makes a pack with Devil, doesn’t read the fine print or the price tag until it’s too late. But what’s so special about this story, what differentiates it from all the other stories about people who are greedy and foolish enough to make deals with the Devil?

dpg Singularity Reviewed on June 25, 2015.
Add Comment

Your Review

By posting your review, you agree to the privacy policy and terms of service.