When bushwalkers get lost in the mountains they must resolve the tangled web of their own relationships and battle a spider man to survive.

The Spider Man

Clint Cure Penpusher Asked on June 15, 2015 in Public.
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4 Review(s)

This looks pretty good to me. You’ve stated the inciting incident, but perhaps you could make it clear why sorting out their personal issues is important to battle the spider man. And maybe an adjective describing the spider man would help too.

Default Reviewed on June 15, 2015.
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‘vicious’?

Clint Cure Penpusher Reviewed on June 15, 2015.
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No, no, ‘ravenous’!

Clint Cure Penpusher Reviewed on June 15, 2015.
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As mentioned above there are two goals stated in the logline resolve the relationship problems and defeat the Spiderman.

Which is the A plot goal?

Make the logline about that and that alone as a loglein needs to describe a single plot.

Better to define who gets lost to aid the premise: After a couple gets lost in the woods…

Also be carful of using a known character in your logline such as Spiderman unless you are writing for the franchise.

Hope this helps.

Nir Shelter Singularity Reviewed on June 15, 2015.
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