When lonely long-haul truck driver D Forde falls in love online with a city writer and single mother, he must cross more than the Nullarbor to overcome his fear of abandonment and win her heart.
Since you are writing a story based on actual events, I’m simply going to consolidate what you wrote to reduce the word count.
“When a lonely truck driver falls for a disenchanted city writer, he must cross more than the outback to overcome his fear of abandonment and win her heart.”
I changed Nullarbor to Outback because I have no idea what Nullabor is 🙂
Hey, Louise! My take is:
When a shy long-haul truck driver falls in love online with a sophisticated city writer on the other side of Australia, he risks all to cross the Outback and the cultural gap that separates them to win her heart.
I changed it from Nullarbor to Outback in order to increase the physical risk and effort he must make, is willing to undertake — that’s how besotted with love he is.
I chose “shy” rather than “lonely” because the latter is a problem while the former is a character flaw. And I described her as “sophisticated” to suggest another obstacle — their contrasting/clashing backgrounds and socio-economic status.
As did Richiev, I dropped “single mother” to tighten it up. My thinking is it that while it’s great for the story it isn’t necessary for the logline. But I kept “online” because I think it is a key catalyst.
Hope this helps.
Thank you SO much guys! As you know I have been working on this for months and months. Thanks to you and feedback from meetups in sydney as well as from Karel Segers, I think I am very close now …… I guess shy as the flaw suggests that there is a lot to overcome in terms of self-confidence, fear of rejection, even abandonment …..?
When a shy long-haul truck driver falls for a city writer online, he must cross more than the outback to bridge the cultural divide and win her heart.