While tackling the climb that killed their father – Everest’s infamous Fantasy Ridge – an estranged sister and brother must face their issues or suffer the same fate.
The bigger problem with this logline aside from the unclear geographical reference is the main character and main action definitions.
Who is the main character? What is the main character going to do?
It’s clear they are going to climb the mountain, but what is their inner journey and what is the main external subplot?
The reason this is unclear is because the logline states “…face their issues…” as a main action for them to take. What does face their issues mean? What will this look like? What issues will they need to over come? This description is too vague in nature to fit well in a logline.
In The Celebration (this is an art house film in which this part of it was exceptionally well done) the “issue” the brother and sisters had was that they were sexually abused as children and needed to convince each other to confront the attacker together as witnesses for one another and therefor had clearly defined objective needs.
In The Mountain ( a good reference for research by the way) the older brother needed to teach the younger brother that integrity and character strength will serve him better in the long run than selfishness and greed. The film then analogized the older brother’s character strength to his physical strength in a scene in which he saves the younger brothers life – a visual way of expressing the thesis the story teller was trying to convey.
Lastly this needs a strong inciting incident and goal, as it stands now, the logline states that they start the climb for no reason with a goal to get to the top. What if they both decide to climb after their father died in order to find his body? This way you give them a clear motivation to get to the top with a clearly motivating inciting incident.
After their father dies during an ascent on Everest’s notorious East face a brother and sister must work together and overcome their differences if they are to survive their recovery of their father’s body.
I don’t know what their differences are but this needs to be explained in the logline other wise this basic construct demonstrates what I mean.
Hope this helps.
The Fantasy Ridge can be found in this map of routes of Everest, it shows it pretty clearly. The later maps stopped naming it because it hasn’t even been partially climbed at this point. It is the only unclimbed ridge left on the East Face (Kangshung) and it would be Route 19 if ever climbed. There have in fact been 8 attempts as of 2016 all ending in failures that I heard of could be more, luckily there has been only one casualty no fatality unlike the the rest of the ‘King Route’s which have a high fatality rate. This will probably change however the more people try. I know of a Swedish and an American team that plan on an attempt in 2017 weather permitting. The entire area is the most deadly area of Everest compared to successful summit attempts. After failure in 06 I summited both the normal routes in 2009 and 10. Probably will never go back myself tho I got very ill with acute bronchitis after my summit in 2010. Hope that helps. You can increase the fatality rate if that helps the narrative.