With Earth on the brink of destruction, a despairing shuttle pilot leads a team to explore parallel worlds for a new home, but each new Earth they find has already met a cataclysmic fate within a year of own.

The Human Equation

Knightrider Mentor Asked on September 16, 2015 in SciFi.
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5 Review(s)

“within a year of own”?  I think there should be a “their” before “own”.

Also a “shuttle” pilot? trying to reach other versions of Earth? Seriously? We earthlings aren’t up on interstellar flight but wouldn’t an interstellar craft be a bit more impressive than a shuttle? How fast are they, because if Earth is on the “brink of destruction”, don’t have a lot of time to do many interstellar flights, and get the human race to safety especially if all we’ve got are shuttles.

priggy Logliner Reviewed on September 28, 2015.
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Hello, this make me think of interstellar, where there is a imminent cataclysmic event and some spaceships are sent to different planets to see if humanity can emigrate there.

Anyway, I think you shoud sketch a main character and give an idea of what kind of conflict feed the story. I mean, they land on a parallel earth, they see it suffered a cataclysmic event, they leave and try the next planet… I don’t think this can be really interesting.

Besides, I run a campaign agaist the word “mysterious” in loglines. Avoid “in mysterious circumstances” and the logline will be just better. Let the reader judge if something is mysterious- and since we don’t know the circumstances, it’s mysterious enough, no need to say more.

FFF Mentor Reviewed on September 16, 2015.
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Fair comment. I understand the Interstellar comparison, it does share a similar basic premise, but the search for a new world when ours is in trouble isn’t that new an idea it’s what you do I with it.

Anyways, I will take out mysterious as I think it is a valid pint.

The other point that I guess I didn’t get across was these Earths are all devoid of life that they may have got to it via different methods but each world has reached the same apocoliptic fate so our team figure out why as it seems our world is next, but as the story unravels we discover these Earths are simulations each designed to figure out man’s fate and the outlook isn’t good.

Knightrider Mentor Reviewed on September 16, 2015.
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Knightrider:

I like the concept of simulations of earth history.

Have you considered using ye’ ol’ sci-fi gimmick of parallel space-time dimensions? The simulations are being run in parallel space-time dimensions. In fact, the whole history of the earth as we know about it is one of the simulations being run in parallel space-time, one of numerous galactic virtual machines, all part of a grand experiment in evolution from the same base point event, the same zero-moment when life commenced.

The MC’s goal would amount to a desperate quest for a simulation where the experiment leads to a hopeful outcome for life on earth in general, homo sapiens specifically. The ticking clock, of course, is that our simulation is running out of time; we’re on the verge of hurling ourselves — and all life in our simulation — off the cliff into extinction.

dpg Singularity Reviewed on September 17, 2015.
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There is the well worn path of the bigger picture reflecting the internal struggle of the main character. Which is a handy device.

‘with earth’s death eminent a ship is sent to find a new planet. The only options are all copies of earth on the same path to our horrible fate”.

Replace ship with MC and you have my take of your story.

CraigDGriffiths Overlord Reviewed on September 17, 2015.
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