dpg's Profile
Singularity
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"Less is More." --- Ludwig Mies van der Rohe
  • Singularity Posted 7 hours ago in Crime.

    Yes, IMDB descriptions are technically blurbs, not loglines.

    Blurbs are designed to get movie viewers to watch the movie.  Loglines are designed to get movie producers to make the films.  Two  different markets; two different requirements.

    I get the sense you want to hold back on stating what the priest’s uncanny ability is.  Let me put it this way:  if the priest’s “uncanny ability” is something that is not revealed until the 3rd Act, then it shouldn’t be in the logline because it constitutes a spoiler, a Big Reveal.  And loglines should not contain spoilers that give away the Big Reveals or Surprise Twist of the 3rd Act.

    But if the priest’s “uncanny ability” is established earlier, if it motivates the action, from the 2nd Act onward, then it needs to be revealed in the logline  — not hinted at  — but spelled out.   Because  his “uncanny ability” is what drives the plot. It’s the hook.  Hooks need to be dangled in front of the logline reader, like you would a fish hook.  You don’t get fish to bite by withholding the fish hook; likewise, you don’t reel in movie producers and directors by withholding the story hook.

    fwiw

    • 54 views
    • 10 reviews
    • 0 votes
  • Singularity Posted 1 day ago in Crime.

    I concur with Dkpough1’s points. The big question is my mind is : what is the hook?  What differentiates this movie from “Frailty” (other than different characters)?

    Another point I would like to make is that  I’m assuming that in both your story and in the movie “Frailty” (which I have not seen) the confession is a framing device for telling the plot of the film — but it is not a core element of the plot.  The plot is about what actually happens, what the story is really about — not about how a character tells what happened.

    A logline is  a statement of the plot — not the framing device.

    fwiw

    • 54 views
    • 10 reviews
    • 0 votes
  • Singularity Posted 2 days ago in Comedy.

    While the concept strains credibility, it’s being played for comedy, not drama.  Maybe it will work.

    The devil — and comedy — is in the details.  I assume you’ve done you’re homework.

    • 39 views
    • 4 reviews
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  • Singularity Posted 4 days ago in Drama.

    >>>A down-and-out former rodeo queen is set to inherit her father’s lucrative cattle farm, but must employ her ex-con older brother as part of the deal.

    1]  Is that legally possible?
    2] If it’s a lucrative operation and he’s an ex-con , why doesn’t he just contest the will so he can get his share rather than be cut out and reduced to a mere employee?
    3] Assuming that the premise is plausible legally, it only sets up a situation for a plot.   So what if  he’s an ex-con?  If he’s a reformed one,  what’s the dramatic problem? What is the plot that follows?  What becomes her objective goal?

    What do you really want this story to be about?

    • 76 views
    • 8 reviews
    • 0 votes
  • Singularity Posted 5 days ago in Horror.

    Well, here’s my attempt:

    When an alien species able to transmorgify into anything it kills attacks a remote Antarctic research station, the scientists must find out who’s still human in order to survive.
    (29 words)

    Yeah, I know, I know.  The logline doesn’t single out a protagonist.  I’ve never seen it, so I’m guessing that it’s primarily an ensemble piece.  The  plot is not about the struggle of one particular individual to survive, but the struggle of any one to survive.

    And the hook of the story is the nature of the alien and the particular predicament it poses for the humans.  That is, in order to survive the cast of characters must figure out who is human and who is an alien in disguise.

    fwiw

    • 33 views
    • 2 reviews
    • 0 votes