RE: When he finds out who killed his father, a laid-back youngster must return to save everyone from his evil Uncle and become the rightful kingLogliner Posted on October 16, 2015 in Examples.
Good! I Guess this is The Lion King. Maybe you should write that the main character is a prince or that he need to save his family and loved ones from his evil uncle.
- 699 views
- 4 reviews
- 0 votes
RE: A meek family man is kidnapped by a violent assassin to help him bring down the agency that created him, however the mission goes awry when the assassin turns out be an alternate personality stored in his subconscious that no one else can see and he isn’t sure is real.Logliner Posted on October 16, 2015 in Thriller.
What’s the goal though? From this logline, I have no idea what the main character wants. Is it to get back to his family? Then write that in the logline. And what must he do to get back? Fight of this alternate personality of his (fight himself basically).
I feel like the logline only discribes the first act of the film, that the inciting incident is when he finds out his kidnapper isn’t real. What happens next?
Hope this helped! 🙂
- 597 views
- 1 reviews
- 0 votes
RE: When a man is cut into two symmetrical halves completed with mechanical prosthesis, the two sides fight each other to become a full person again.Logliner Posted on October 16, 2015 in Action.
This sounds really interesting, he fights himself! I like it 🙂
To make it more interesting, I would make one of the halfes the main character and the other one more of a antagonist. So maybe something like:
“When a man is cut into two symmetrical halves completed with mechanical prosthesis and one of the halves becomes rabid, the other half must fight him and make them into one person agian.”
Or make the person(s) who cut the man in two the antagonist and the halves must work together to become one person again. That would be more of a “get to know my own good and bad sides” – movie, where the main character has some revelation of that he maybe is quite a mean person and changes this.
Personally, I like the first one better, where he must fight against himself 🙂
Hope this helped!
- 690 views
- 3 reviews
- 0 votes
RE: Four thirty-something guys deal with different stages of fatherhood, whilst working out along the way that they have barely grown up themselves.Logliner Posted on October 14, 2015 in Drama.
What you have written sounds like an intresting concept, but I don’t get any idea of what’s going to happen in the movie. What will I get to see except a bunch of guys walking around, thinking of life?
Is there a main character or are all four of them main characters? (I would personally prefer if one guy got the main part and the other were there as his friends).
What goal do the main character(s) have? And what must he (they) do reach that?
What is the inciting incident that gets the whole story started?
Figure these things out and include them in the logline.
Hope this helped 🙂
- 531 views
- 2 reviews
- 0 votes