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  • Singularity Posted 1 day ago in Fantasy.

    “When he’s trapped in a small Oregon town, an irresponsible drifter must work with the terrified townsfolk to discover the weakness of the entity that has captured the town, if he is to stop it and free the citizens.”

    • 47 views
    • 4 reviews
    • 0 votes
  • Singularity Posted 2 days ago in Thriller.

    >>>yet dangerous vampire

    But not dangerous enough to defend herself?  So she needs the help of a timid guy, a mere mortal who initially doesn’t pose a danger to anybody?    Seems like another plot that treads in the deep, deep, deep, deep rut of the trope of a guy who must man-up and rescue the girl who can never find the inner strength to rescue herself.  Or the guy.

    (Sigh)

    How about reversing roles and have the girl rescue the guy?

    • 60 views
    • 3 reviews
    • 0 votes
  • Singularity Posted 2 days ago in Fantasy.

    >>>man finds himself

    Passive.  The plot is finding him. The protagonist needs to be proactive — he needs to be in the drive’s seat of the plot with hands on the wheel steering — plots aren’t supposed to run on autopilot.

    And as noted, “sinister elements” is vague. Be specific.  We have no idea why he had to flee the city nor what he must fight against in the town.

    • 47 views
    • 4 reviews
    • 0 votes
  • Summitry Posted 2 days ago in Fantasy.

    You have s lot here. But you need to be specific to make it work. I am not a believer that you need to start your inciting incident, leave that for the script. You need to state the story in your logline and give enough detail so people know what the story is about.

    Sinister Elments could be anything from ghosts to a corrupt sheriff. Why aren’t people allowed to leave and is it important to the main story.

    I think the boy standing up for a town that isn’t his feels like the story. But I can’t be sure. Can we have some specifics please.

    • 47 views
    • 4 reviews
    • 0 votes