RE: A mob enforcer who lives by the strict code that failure equals death, meets his match when £3 million of mob funds is stolen by a desperate young man determined to make a difference with his life by ensuring the dirty money serves a charitable cause.

      RedRoad Penpusher Posted on May 5, 2020 in Action.
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        i actually love the premise of this, but can i ask you something? who is the protagonist, is it the mob boss, or the desperate man? if i were you i’d want that to be clearer, and its also a tad long. maybe try shortening. this is my version of yours:

        When a calculating mob boss falls victim to a loss of 3 million dollars, he meets his match by a desperate young man determined to make a difference with his life by ensuring the dirty money serves a charitable cause.

        But i actually love the idea of your film. very interesting. logline is almost there mate. just needs to be refined and tightened. good stuff!

        Penpusher Answered on May 11, 2020.
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